And you know what? That’s an OK basis for a long-term relationship. In different circumstances, don’t you think we could marry and be happy? And never regret it for a moment?”“Ah! And that’s exactly what Elyse is feeling with you! I get it now; and it makes sense. Maybe I’ve been going about this all wrong.”“How so?” I asked.“That being in love isn’t what’s important. I could see you and me married and living happily together. And I think that you’re right that neither of us would ever regret it. I was looking for love and trying to make it happen by spreading my legs. What you showed me is that being a good friend, being close to someone, feeling safe and secure is what’s more important. And fantastic sex came after that.”“And with Kurt, you were careful because of me. You became friends and were comfortable. Then you guys took it to the next level. And you did it incrementally. I bet with your jock boyfriends, you had sex on your first or second date.”“Yes. Because I thought I had. I took it and drove therest of the way home.I slammed the van door overloudly and grumped round to the front,glancing briefly across at John and Debbie's house. Being Saturday, bothcars were there, one in the drive and one in the road. Again I had acompulsion to call round; maybe take a four pack of beers with me, but Ididn't. They were Geoff's friends, not mine.I banged the front door shut after me instead and dumped my stuff in thehall. I put the frozen food away, flipped the switch on the kettle thenslumped into a chair in the lounge.The list of things needing doing in the house was hanging over me; halffinished jobs I'd left incomplete in my masculine days. I tried to putthem out of my mind. I folded my arms and crossed my legs. I went tofetch my coffee and came back, burning my tongue on the first sip."Shit."I didn't need my life as a man. I wasn't happier as Geoff. I had beenperfectly fine before that ring came into my life.I burnt my tongue a second time, put the mug down and.
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